A vague friend ask you to come over to his birthday. You don’t know anyone there. You’re probably a little afraid that you feel awkward and left alone in a corner. So… you rather say no or bring another friend to feel comfortable with this situation. This feeling is all about the fear of being with strangers. And what is it that make us feel that way? And more important, how can we change this?
Do you remember though, I started a three part guide into opening up to strangers. The last weeks I was cough up in my micro adventure but today I will continue the search on being a more open and social person. The last story was about practical steps to start opening up to strangers. I now share some personal thoughts that I discovered along the way about confidence.
When you start a conversation you want to feel relax and resourceful and that means to not only feel that way but also project it. I can tell you a lot of openers to start talking to strangers but that don’t make any sense. The internet provides a lot of openers already. I prefer to talk about developing motives to be curious and learn about other people. You want to be more open but how? What can we change about ourselves so that we naturally are opening up to others and share more?
The fear of talking to strangers is what I believe: the chatterbox issue. We are not in the moment and therefor are not enjoying the moment. You might say to yourself: I don’t want to talk to him/her because I run out of things to say. This is an example of a limited belief and limiting beliefs are holding us back from sharing more. We make ourselves feel insecure.
Projecting confidence in interactions is projecting that we are not needy but curious about one other. We listen, ask and want to know more. It is in our nature but we are often so cought up in whatever it is that make us feel insecure. We forget about it and worry about ourselves. I experienced that it is very powerful to be curious about things. Look around and start to be creative about what you see and how it involves other people. Ask, make a joke, tell a story or just share something with one other. Change your chatterbox to the subject of exploring beauty. It isn’t always about you and your feelings, it’s about what you can share and learn.
Be honest of your intentions. If somebody isn’t comfortable with that then respect it. Ask someone’s opinion about something that’s blowing your mind. You might be very surprised what that person has to say about it. It really is much simpler than we think, and you will instantly understand it.