In this short article I will go more deeply in the proces of learning new behaviors. Habits. More on a personal level. I share a general technique to use if there is some new behavior you want, or you want to change or improve one.
Basically with five steps:
I will explane the steps with the following goal: you want to start a random conversation with someone. The problem now is that you have fear to approach a random stranger. The fear holds you back from doing it and that makes -for example- a long train journey less interesting. Or you want to improve doing your favourite sport: like hitting the tennis serve just right.
In step two you’re going to visualise how you achieve that goal. It’s like you’re directing a movie. You sit in the director’s chair and see yourself perform that new behavior. Watch the scene and listen to what is happen. If there are other people involved notice their reactions. Edit the scene untill you are really satisfied. Than replay it but not as the director but as yourself in the scene. Feel yourself moving in the scene and performing the future outcome. Does it feel right? Because the next step is to decide whether the new behavior represent your values and your personal integrity. If it does not feel right start again in step one and replay it untill the outcome is what you really want to achieve.
Now you have a clear picture and sound from your new behavior and you know how it feels like when you achieve it. The last step you need to take is to create a signal to identify the new behavior. It can be an internal or external signal that directly identify your new behavior. Maybe it is when you step into a train or maybe it is when you approach a tennis field. On this moment you know what to do and how to perform. I think this really helps you to work on a more intensive way on your future outcomes. Every experience becomes an opportunity for learning. The more you do this the more you become the person that you want to be.
This blog is inspired by the book “Introducing NLP” from Joseph O’connor and John Seymour.